Worthy but completely undeserving

Goal #1 September 3, 2011

Filed under: Aspiring Fitness Model — Lauren @ 5:56 pm

The first goal that I’m going to throw out there is (drumroll, please)….

To be in fitness model shape.

For a little background, I used to be a D-1 college athlete, so that means I was in excellent physical shape.  However, after I finished college, I started feeling rebellious.  No one was making me get up at 5am to get to the weight room or run hill sprints, so there was no way I was going to continue doing that.  I wanted my extra 2 hours of sleep, dangit!  Over the past few years in grad school, I’ve become increasingly out of shape – specifically, I’ve managed to gain about 35 lbs in the last 3 years.  Honestly, I’m disappointed with myself, and I’m kind of embarrassed.  But I do know that how much I weigh or what I look like does NOT reflect on who I am, and it should not affect how I feel about myself.  Or my confidence.  No matter what the scale says about my weight or % body fat, I am still beautiful, confident, and free.

However, I was entrusted with this body.  So far, I’ve been given the tools to keep it healthy, but over the last 3 years, I’ve not been using those tools.  It’s time for that to change.  I’m stepping out.  I’m taking a risk.  I’m risking failure at getting fit.  I’ve tried to get back “in shape” several times over the past year or so and failed.  Well this time, I won’t fail.  I’ll succeed.  I have the basic tools I need, and I’m learning more every day.  I can do this.  I will do this.  I’m worth this.


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