Worthy but completely undeserving

I Want a Fixie April 12, 2012

Filed under: Aspiring Fitness Model — Lauren @ 2:55 pm
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Oh. My. Word.  I have a new obsession.

And it’s not a kitchen gadget.

And it’s not a boy band (thank God).

It’s a bike.  But not a specific bike.

It’s a type of bike known as a fixed gear bike.

Or if you’re cool and know what you’re talking about, a “fixie.”

What is a fixie, you ask?  Well let me tell you what I know so far.

A fixie is a bike with only one gear.  (As an aside, I feel the need to point out the irony of this situation.  When I was 10, all I wanted was a bike with MORE gears.  Over a decade later, I have come full circle and now desire a bike with ONLY 1 gear.  Ridiculous.)

The crazy thing about fixed gear bikes that set them apart from a single speed bike is how the chain is actually attached to the rear wheel.  I’ll be honest, I don’t know all the technical terms and parts, but I do know the largest consequence of the fixed gear is that you can’t coast.  Ever.  The pedals ALWAYS spin.  So there’s no coasting down huge hills or through a turn.   There’s no giving your legs a break on a fixie.  It’s constant work.  But it also means your pedaling is more efficient.  I’m a fan of increased efficiency.

Another benefit to fixies (that I’ve read about and been told by friends that have them) is that you are extremely in-tune with your bike.  There’s a greater feeling of connectedness and control.  This ends up giving more maneuverability and makes it a great commuter bike.  In the end, this is what I want out of my bike.  I want to commute regularly.  And seeing as how I’m moving to the Detroit area in a few short months, I want to get comfortable on my bike in a smaller city before I attempt a larger, scarier place like Detroit.

Ooo.  I just shuddered thinking about it.

Hehe.  I just giggled thinking about it too.  I’m excited!  Can’t you tell?!

Oh, yet another benefit.  My health.  More activity is good for my heart.  It’s good for my physique too.  Enough said.

Now the question is, where to get my fixie fix?

A friend of mine who let me test ride her bike said she found hers on bikesdirect.com (No, they are not paying me to endorse their site.  Pretty sure they don’t know I exist.)  Another page I found is bikeisland.com (They don’t know who I am either).  Both sites have some crazy awesome bikes on there for a fraction of the retail price.  The downside is that their stock changes daily.  This is a problem for me because I haven’t quite rounded up all the cash I need to purchase the fixie of my dreams yet.

So I will wait.  I will scour their pages daily to see if my fav has sold out yet.

And then, some day very soon, I will buy one.

Hi, my name is Lauren, and I am obsessed with getting my hands on a fixie.

(Admitting it is the first step right??)


What about you?  Any experience with fixies?  Advice/warnings/suggestions for a newbie like me?


How about an update? October 19, 2011

Filed under: Aspiring Fitness Model — Lauren @ 11:08 pm

Well let’s see, it’s been almost 2 months since I last posted.  Yeesh…  That doesn’t do me any good as far as keeping myself accountable.  Let me recap the past (almost) 2 months…

So, I ended up kind of yoyo-ing back and forth the past couple months.  I was on track for 2 weeks and then off track for 2 weeks.  I did this a couple times and guess what?  I have no overall progress to show for it.  Just frustration.  Discouragement.

But something snapped this past weekend in me.  I realized that I have lived my life breaking agreements with myself where my fitness is concerned.  I did it in soccer all the time.  I never gave 100% in my college off-season training.

Example:  At the end of my freshman year, I was the top 1 or 2 best in shape on the team (according to that awful beep test), and I came back at the start of my sophomore year as one of the bottom 3 worst in shape.  I just didn’t do much over the summer to stay in shape.  I didn’t like running sprints or going for long runs on my own.  I knew I should do those things, but still, I didn’t do them.  Even after the embarrassment of being way out of shape at the start of that year, nothing changed over the summer before my junior year.  I came back out of shape again.

It’s self-sabotage at its finest, and I still wonder why I do this?  I think it goes back to old patterns that worked in the past for me.  Even though I had a chance to process a lot of my feelings of insignificance and believing myself to be unlovable at Focus, I’m realizing that I don’t conquer my struggles once for all (if you don’t know what Focus is, ask me!!  I’ll tell you all about it – it was basically a personal awakening).  I can absolutely process something, acknowledge what that’s created in my life, and change my actions/mindset to operate from a new position.  BUT it’s going to take vigilance to permanently change something that has been so ingrained in me the past 26 years.

One of the things I can do to help make permanent changes is accountability.  Another is positive self-talk.  Replacing those negative “I will inevitably fail” tapes with “I will succeed” tapes.  I also must stay engaged with my goals.  Reading my goals over each day and reading other people’s success stories is very motivating.

So that’s what I’ve got for now.  Since Saturday I’ve made some good progress!  I’m going to keep it up!  Until next time!!


What’s the game plan? September 3, 2011

Filed under: Aspiring Fitness Model — Lauren @ 7:04 pm

In order to succeed I need a plan of action.  I’ve been encouraged recently by several new friends to make sure I have smaller goals and a plan.  Here’s what I’ve got so far….

I need to get a baseline on where I’m starting from, so over the next 7 days I’ll be averaging my weight and % body fat.

Big picture/long term goal:  I look like a fitness model.  I have good definition and lower body fat that comes from eating clean and weight training.

In June 2012:  I’m competing in a figure competition.  This is be a feasible timeline for me to shed bf and then get some lean muscle back on my frame.  At this point, I’m back in my “game shape” from college.

In March 2012:  It’ll be “spring break” time at my mom’s work.  Usually our family heads to Gulf Shores for about 5 days around this time of year.  I’ll be rocking a new bikini that draws attention to me – no more hiding in my swimsuit!

At the start of December 2011:  I’m getting closer to my long-term goals.  The holidays have not and will not derail my progress.  I’m down 2 pants sizes by now, so that means in addition to Christmas shopping for others, I need to buy new jeans!

October 2011:  I’ve been on track for a month now.  I’m shedding some water weight, and my metabolism has re-fired.  I’m feeling good and already reaping the benefits of eating right and exercising/walking regularly.

Each week:  I’m doing a lifting circuit 3x; I’m completing 30 min of intervals 2-3x; I’m walking daily for 30-60 min; I’m burning 1-2lbs of body fat each week (notice I’m not “losing” it cause I don’t want to “find” it again later!)

Each day:  I’m drinking ~100 oz water; I eat 5 small “meals” about 2-3 hours apart; I get my exercise in; I read over my goals; I remind myself that although I have a long way to go, I only have to do these things today – that in and of itself is a goal accomplished 🙂

As a note, my workouts and eating style are adopted from the book “The Metabolic Effect Diet”.  It has a bounty of good information, and it’s come highly recommended by a friend of mine (thanks Erika!).

So that’s it!  I’ll keep you updated weekly with my progress and how things are going.

Here’s to a great adventure!!


Goal #1

Filed under: Aspiring Fitness Model — Lauren @ 5:56 pm

The first goal that I’m going to throw out there is (drumroll, please)….

To be in fitness model shape.

For a little background, I used to be a D-1 college athlete, so that means I was in excellent physical shape.  However, after I finished college, I started feeling rebellious.  No one was making me get up at 5am to get to the weight room or run hill sprints, so there was no way I was going to continue doing that.  I wanted my extra 2 hours of sleep, dangit!  Over the past few years in grad school, I’ve become increasingly out of shape – specifically, I’ve managed to gain about 35 lbs in the last 3 years.  Honestly, I’m disappointed with myself, and I’m kind of embarrassed.  But I do know that how much I weigh or what I look like does NOT reflect on who I am, and it should not affect how I feel about myself.  Or my confidence.  No matter what the scale says about my weight or % body fat, I am still beautiful, confident, and free.

However, I was entrusted with this body.  So far, I’ve been given the tools to keep it healthy, but over the last 3 years, I’ve not been using those tools.  It’s time for that to change.  I’m stepping out.  I’m taking a risk.  I’m risking failure at getting fit.  I’ve tried to get back “in shape” several times over the past year or so and failed.  Well this time, I won’t fail.  I’ll succeed.  I have the basic tools I need, and I’m learning more every day.  I can do this.  I will do this.  I’m worth this.